Tail Lights, Grand Gestures, and Impossible Choices
by ynnej2198
Summary: Pacey and Joey never make it to the airport the day Dawson and Audrey leave. What happens when an unexpected breakdown stirs long-buried feelings between them? Alone for the summer in Capeside, will they rekindle their passion or remain friends? (Set at the end of S5. I've taken liberties w/ S6.) This one will be relatively short. *Updating*
1. Chapter 1

PROLOGUE

"Dammit!" Pacey swore as he slammed on the brakes thanks to traffic on the highway toward the airport coming to a complete standstill. He was driving Joey to Logan so that she could stop Dawson from getting on his plane to Los Angeles. Joey believed that she convinced him to create a grand romantic gesture for Audrey, who was leaving on the same flight, but he wasn't sure yet whether or not he was going to do anything. When Audrey found out he and his boss, Alex, had kissed, she furiously dumped him. While he did miss her, Pacey knew he wasn't in love with her and he honestly didn't know if he could or would fall in love with her if he tried to stop her from getting on the plane.

Out of the corner of his eye, Pacey saw Joey crane her neck, first to one side and then the other, to get a better look at the traffic. "This looks bad."

Considering there were brake lights as far as the eye could see, he agreed. "Yeah, it does."

"We aren't going to make it in time to catch their plane, are we?"

Pacey wanted to reassure her, but he needed to be realistic. Boston traffic was bad on a good day. Add in an accident or other incident and forget it. "I don't think so, Jo." When she sighed dejectedly and slumped her shoulders, he added, "I'm sorry. I know how much you wanted to talk to Dawson. Maybe you can call him?"

Joey was silent a moment as she pondered his suggestion. Then she said, "No. This is probably a sign that I should leave things between us alone."

He took a breath. Selfishly he wanted her to leave things be with Dawson, who had recently gotten back on his soulmate kick; but, Pacey also knew that she needed to do this or she'd always wonder what might have happened. "Call him. Ask him to take a different flight. You know you'll regret it if you don't, Jo."

Pacey looked out his side window as Joey dialed Dawson's number trying to distract himself from once again being caught up in The Ballad of Dawson and Joey. His attention returned to her, however, when she left him a message to call her as soon as possible. When she was done, he asked, "No answer?"

Joey looked down and shook her head.

"He may have turned it off since he will be boarding soon. Why don't you try again later?"

"It's like a six hour flight. It will be the middle of the night," she pouted.

Pacey turned his full attention to her. He placed a hand comfortingly on hers, which was clasping her cell phone for dear life. "He won't care, Jo. You know how he feels about you." Then, to lighten the mood, he added, "Plus we'll probably still be sitting here anyway by then at the rate we're going."

Joey cracked a smile at that. "Thanks, Pace." Then, "I'm sorry you didn't catch up with Audrey in time."

"Eh. It's for the best, I think. It wouldn't have worked in the long run anyway. No use prolonging the inevitable, right?"

Joey placed her other hand on top of his and squeezed. "Still. I'm sorry."

"Thanks," Pacey replied as he turned his attention back to the road where traffic had finally started moving at a snail's pace. "Looks like there's an exit up there. Do you want to stop off and grab something to eat? No sense in passing the time till you can talk to Dawson on an empty stomach."

"Sure, why not?"


	2. Chapter 2

As Pacey unlocked the door to the hotel room, he apologized again to Joey. "I'm really sorry about this." Then, unable to keep the frustration from his voice, he added, "This is the _last_ thing I need right now."

Joey lightly touched his arm as she passed by him to enter the room. "It's okay, Pace. There's no way you could have predicted the Mustang would break down. I just feel kind of responsible for dragging you all the way out here."

He entered behind her and closed the door. "Dont worry about it. I'll call a tow truck in the morning and have it towed to a garage nearby to find out what's wrong. But, you might have to take a cab home."

Joey paused from her inspection of the room and looked at him, brow furrowed. "I'm not leaving you here alone to deal with a mess I helped cause. I'll wait with you."

Now that the door was secure, Pacey removed his security uniform jacket and hat. Rubbing a hand through his hair, he replied, "We'll discuss it in the morning after you've talked to Dawson. Who knows, you might need to take a cab to Logan so you can hop a plane to LA."

A nervous chuckle escaped her lips. "I doubt that."

Pacey, who'd pulled his shirt out of his slacks and had begun unbuttoning it, stopped midway. "I thought you wanted to go to the airport so you could go with him?"

"Ah…"

"What were you planning to do, Jo?" Pacey asked, resuming his unbuttoning. "Tell him you'd miss him, that you'd wait for him, then kiss him goodbye, and stand watching as he boarded the plane?"

"Well…"

Pacey plopped on the bed unceremoniously. He laughed. He couldn't help it. "That's what you were gonna do, wasn't it?" Then, "I should have known."

Joey, miffed now, crossed her arms defiantly. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Pacey bent down and pulled his shoes and socks off. "Nevermind. Forget I said anything. Let's just get ready for bed."

She marched over and stood in front of him. "No. I want to know. What did you mean by that?"

Barefoot, Pacey stood up. "It's just typical of you two. You never actually resolve anything one way or another. Either make the decision to finally be together or don't. But you need to stop with the angst dance. Lord knows I can't take another round of it."

"What does any if this have to do with you?"

He stepped aside to walk toward the bathroom. "All of it, Jo. Jack, Jen and I have been entrenched in your little Ballad since sophomore year. It's exhausting."

She put herself between him and his destination. "Explain."

"The two of you never act. You just react to whatever the other person does. If one of you breaks free, the other can't let go. If one of you holds on too tight, the other one feels trapped. So, you just bounce back and forth like rubber balls, never making the decision to just be friends or to finally be more." He lightly grasped her upper arms and moved her to the side out of his way, "Thus, neither of you ever will truly be able to move on."

Once he stepped in the bathroom he turned to face her before shutting the door. Sadly, he said, "Jen told me what happened at the Mitch and Gail's wedding. She blurted it out when she was drunk. I know you only ran after me because he told you to."

"Pace, I…"

He held up his free hand. "It's okay, Joey. It hurt when I found out, but I'm okay now. The point I'm making is that grand gestures, like writing an SOS on a wall or, for example, begging someone for another chance over an intercom broadcasting to an entire airport, or boarding a plane to LA, they require courage that neither of you have. Because they always have an ending. You either get the prize or you don't and you're forced to deal with the consequences."

Joey defended, "I jumped on a boat and sailed away with you. Doesn't that count?"

He shook his head and smiled sadly. "No. Had you just left Dawson standing there and ran to me, it would have. But you didn't. You waited for his permission. And then you reacted. Just like you always do."

With that, Pacey closed the door in her face to get ready for bed. When he came out in his boxers and wifebeater, Joey was standing looking out the window still fully clothed. "All yours," he said as he walked toward the bed.

"Thanks," she replied as she walked to the closet and grabbed the fluffy white bathrobe that was hanging there and then went inside and closed the door.

While Joey was in the bathroom, he pulled back the covers and slid inside. He had just gotten comfortable when he heard the door open. "What are you doing?" she asked.

He looked over and saw her pull the string of the robe tighter over her waist. "Going to sleep," he replied. "Why?"

When she crossed her arms and looked at him with a raised brow, he sat up. "Get over yourself and get in bed, Joey. I'm not sleeping on that chair or on the floor, so just deal with it."

"I just don't think it's a good idea for us to share a bed."

He rolled his eyes as he pulled her side of the covers down. "I'm not going to maul you for God sake. I've had a long day and I'm tired. You can either join me or not. It's up to you." With that, Pacey plopped back down onto his pillow and turned on his side to face the other direction.

A few minutes later, he felt her enter the bed. The moment she was laying next to him, all the memories from their relationship he'd buried came surging to the forefront of his mind. And so did the feelings. Shit. It was going to be a long night.


	3. Chapter 3

When Pacey awoke to sunlight streaming through the partially curtained window, it was to find Joey in his arms. She was spooned against him, her back to his front, and holding the hand of the arm he must have inadvertently draped over her torso during the night. It was funny how, in sleep, they both still gravitated to each other.

Knowing he shouldn't, but unable to help himself, he buried his face in the crook of her neck and inhaled her scent. She still used the same strawberry shampoo she'd used when they were together. He'd been haunted by the scent of strawberry for months after their breakup because of how much it reminded him of her.

He closed his eyes and marveled at being so close to her without all the defenses they'd erected since their breakup. It felt like home. But also like every nerve ending was tingling with life for the first time in a year. He squeezed his eyes shut. This was bad. Very, very bad. He had worked so hard to get over her and all it took was one night in close proximity with her to blow it all to hell.

Joey's breathing was still even, the way it always was when she slept, so he gave into temptation and placed a featherlight kiss on her collarbone where it met her neck and whispered, "I miss you," very softly as he gently pulled her closer into his body. When she woke up, she'd be furious with him, so, until then, he'd enjoy the time he had with her in his arms.

 **~zzzzz~**

Joey laid perfectly still and forced her breathing to stay even when Pacey buried his face in the crook of her neck. When he took a deep breath inhaling the scent of her shampoo, which he'd always loved, she couldn't help but crack a small smile. They'd awoken like this many times during their relationship both before and after finally making love and he always did that. It was as if he literally couldn't help himself and it had made her feel desired, loved, and oh-so-powerful as a woman.

Before he could always tell when she was asleep or awake, but she'd gotten really good at faking sleep this year. At first it was because Audrey would talk her ear off all night if she had even the slightest inkling Joey was awake. But, then it became a means of survival once Audrey started dating Pacey. They'd been respectful enough to her feelings not to have sleepovers in the dorm room, but she had still been privy to one too many long private goodbyes by the door for her liking. Faking sleep was the easiest way to deal with it.

Joey knew people thought she got over Pacey and their relationship way too fast, but loss was loss and she was accustomed to dealing with it. The fact that he left town helped her to lock away her feelings for him, which made it easier to pussyfoot around The Romance when he returned. They each had their own lives now, so there was no point in dwelling on a past they couldn't change.

But having him here like this, it was hard to ignore the current pulsing through her body at his proximity. She felt alive again for the first time in over a year. It was amazing. And she knew it would be devastating because it had her thinking and wanting things she no longer should think or want.

When Pacey kissed her collarbone, pulled her close, and whispered that he missed her, she realized how much she missed him, too. So she said so.

When she felt Pacey stiffen behind her, Joey released his fingers and turned over to face him.

"You're awake?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry," he said apologetically as he went to lift his arm and move away from her, but Joey reached out and grabbed his waist to stop him.

"Don't be. I'm not." Then she leaned into him and buried her face into his chest in the way she'd always done when they were together.

They laid in silence for a moment holding each other, his hand soothingly stroking her back as hers roamed the exposed space between his boxers and tank top, until Pacey pulled back slightly and looked at her,vulnerability in his eyes. "Jo?"

That was a loaded question if ever she heard one. Those seemingly innocent actions were ones that often led places they had no business going in the present tense. But right here, right now, the reasons why they shouldn't lead those places didn't seem to matter.

Joey moved her hand from his waist and cupped his cheek. "Pace…" she whispered huskily as she leaned in to meet his lips halfway in a kiss she knew might change everything. Again.

Just as their lips were about to meet, the shrill ring of Joey's cell phone broke the trance. Pacey pulled away as if doused by a bucket of cold water while Joey blew out a breath and blindly reached toward the bedside table for her phone.

As Joey flipped open her phone to greet Dawson, Pacey shot out of bed, grabbed his clothes, and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. A few minutes later, as she was conversing with Dawson, he came out fully dressed and slipped out the door without so much as a goodbye.


	4. Chapter 4

Two hours later, Pacey still hadn't come back from wherever he went while she was on the phone and she was getting worried.

She and Dawson had a long conversation that, as Pacey predicted last night, didn't really resolve anything between them. When he found out what had happened, he wanted her to come out to LA, but she wouldn't. When he suggested coming home, she adamantly refused as well, given what happened between them after Mitch died last fall. So, they decided not to decide anything and to simply let things be as they each lived their own lives for a while.

"Where the hell are you?" Joey huffed as she looked out the window.

When her phone rang, she saw it was an unfamiliar number on the caller ID and picked it up. Figuring it was Pacey calling from wherever he disappeared to, she was about to ream him out, when he cut her off. "Before you ream me out, Jo, I'm at the garage with the car. They can fix it today but it will take all day. I called a cab to take you to the train station. The room is paid for, so all you need to do is drop off the key."

"Pace…"

"I have to go, Jo. I'll see you later, ok?"

"Ok. But Pace?"

"Yeah."

"We have to talk."

"And we will. Just not now. I'm on the phone in the garage office, so I really do have to go."

"Alright. I'll see you later at home?"

"Yeah. See ya, Potter."

"Bye."

 **~zzzzz~**

Later that day, Joey was leaving work after a hellish last-minute call-in shift being supervised by Mrs. Valentine and dealing with Drue, who was home from college in Chicago and as eager as ever to torment her, when she literally ran into Pacey at the door.

"Sorry," he said as he reached out to steady her and Joey was assaulted by the aforementioned tingles.

She smiled. "It's okay." Then, "You're back. Car all fixed?"

He dropped his hands. "Yeah. But it took most of my savings, so I'll be taking on some extra shifts this summer to cover it." He shrugged. "But what else do I have to do, anyway, right?"

Joey stepped back to let him in the door. "I still feel responsible."

"Eh, don't worry about it. The mechanic said it was just a matter of time before it conked out on me. You just happened to be there when it did."

"So… About this morning..."

He looked down and then looked back up at her, emotions steeled. "Let's just chalk it up to a hormonal glitch and forget it happened, okay?"

"Is that really what you want?" Joey crooked her head as she tried to gauge the emotion behind the steel facade.

"I think it's what's best, considering."

"Why?"

He swallowed. "We may be here together right now, Jo. But nothing else has changed. You're going to Boston in fall and I'm not. And then there's Dawson and all the complications there. No good can come of dredging up the past after we worked so hard to be friends again."

Her heart traitorously sank a little at his dismissal, but she agreed. "So, friends?" she asked as she reached out to shake his hand.

"Always," he declared as he took it. They stood there hands clasped for a moment before he cleared his throat and pulled away. "Anyway, I have to get to work. I'll see you soon, ok?"

"Ok," she echoed as he began to walk away.

He was right. No good could come of dredging up things that were best left buried. But why did that bother her so much?


	5. Chapter 5

_One week later…_

Pacey stopped in the clubhouse of the Yacht Club to pick up his check after his security shift only to be met by an angry Joey. "Why are you avoiding me?"

He wasn't. Ok. He was. But he wasn't about to admit that. "I'm not, Jo. I've just been working a lot."

"So have I, yet this is the first time I've seen you in a week."

"Well, I primarily patrol outside, so that might explain why our paths haven't crossed."

"But you've managed to see Drue, who you don't like, everyday. Care to explain?"

Pacey looked around, thankful that the clubhouse was pretty empty at this time, and grasped her upper arm lightly to guide her to a nearby corner. "Ok. You got me, Jo. I've been keeping my distance."

"Why?"

"To give us some time."

"Time for what?"

"To get back to normal."

When she nodded, Pacey knew she realized what he meant. He'd been completely thrown by his renewed feelings for Joey and their almost-kiss in the midst of another round of her and Dawson. He needed time to squelch them back down so they could go back to being friends. Of course, now that he saw her, he realized that doing so was going to be easier said than done.

Just as Joey was about to say something, Pacey saw Paolo, the Club's executive chef, storm out of the kitchen with Mrs. Valentine hot on his heels. The two were in the midst of a heated argument that ended up with Paolo giving her the finger and exiting through the front door.

Mrs. Valentine huffed at his exit, but then started pacing. "How dare he do this to me tonight of all nights! Where the hell am I going to find a chef on such short notice?"

Pacey exchanged a brief glance with Joey, who frantically shook her head at him with horror in her eyes, and then stepped forward toward the woman. "I could fill in if you want."

She looked at him incredulously. "You? But you're a security guard."

"One with a year's experience as a chef in a busy Boston restaurant."

She looked from him to Joey and back again. "Wait, you're Miss Potter's boyfriend aren't you?"

"Ex. But we're still friends."

She looked to Joey. "Can he really cook?"

"Yes, he's an excellent chef."

"Fine. Come on Mr. Witter. I'll show you the kitchen and go over the menu."

Pacey followed her into the kitchen as she explained that there was a party tonight for the board members, elected officials, and other important Capeside summer residents. The menu was sophisticated but nothing he couldn't handle, having cooked it all before at Civilization. She left him to get to know the rest of the kitchen staff, which were all young summer help, as she went to get him a uniform. When she came back, she said, "If you pull this off, you'll be the youngest executive chef we've ever had. If you don't, you'll be out of a job completely. Got it?"

"I got it." He was going to leave it at that, but decided to lay it on the line. "But just so we're clear Mrs. Valentine, you don't intimidate me. You have nothing on the cold-hearted bitch who was my last boss. I'm good at what I do, so just let me do it and we'll be fine."

At that, she crossed her arms. "You're not at all like I expected." A smiled curled on her lips. "And I like it."

He nodded at their understanding and then went to change.

 **~zzzzz~**

Joey was working the party tonight so she got to see Pacey back in his element. She had been concerned when he volunteered himself to fill in for Paolo, but he'd really stepped up and showed everyone just how talented he is. Within a short time, he had the kitchen and wait staff charmed and eating out of his hand. Because everyone liked him, they followed his instructions and service went off with nary a hiccup. In fact, as Joey passed by a group of the other waitresses, all high school girls on summer break, she learned how much they _really_ liked him. In that moment, Joey was glad for Pacey's penchant for older women. Wait? Where did that come from?

The compliments on the food didn't surprise Joey at all, but she was surprised by the array of guests issuing them, which included Dean Kublick, one of the board members, Sheriff Witter and Doug, an elected official and his plus one, as well as Danny Brecher, all of whom somehow managed to be seated with Mrs. Valentine and the mayor at one table. Since Joey would bet her job that Mrs. Valentine hadn't told anyone about her last-minute staff change, they all thought they were complimenting Paolo.

As Joey refilled the water glasses for the group, she heard Danny say, "Is it just me or has Paolo's cooking gotten surprisingly better?"

"Yeah," chimed in Dean Kublick, "I don't remember the salmon tasting quite this good last year."

To that, Danny laughed and joked, "It tastes just like mine."

A "That's because it is," left Joey's lips before she could stop herself, which elicited silence at the previously jovial table. Danny looked at her curiously, Mrs. Valentine shot her daggers, and the rest of the table simply stared, not knowing what to make of the statement. "Pacey's running the kitchen tonight," she clarified.

This earned her a warning, "Ms. Potter…" from her boss and blank stares from Doug and Pacey's dad, but resulted in a, "No shit!" from Danny and a "You don't say," from the Dean.

"Wait," Sheriff Witter said. "You mean Pacey cooked this? I thought he was working security." He looked at Doug, who replied, "He was as far as I know."

Joey smiled, happy to have one up on her boss. "When Mrs. Valentine learned Pacey was a chef, she wisely realized his talents would be better utilized in the kitchen."

This earned the woman an, "Excellent decision," from the Dean, who then went on to praise Pacey's work on the boat last summer. "He's one exceptional young man."

"Tell me about it," Danny added. "I've never seen anyone take to cooking the way he has. Kid's got a real talent for it." He then looked over at Mrs. Valentine. "If you hadn't snapped him up, I'll bet someone else would have. Although you'd better watch out because once I have my own restaurant again, I'm stealing him back."

"Now, don't get ahead of yourself there, Daniel," Mrs. Valentine warned. "He's exclusively on contract with us for the foreseeable future."

"With food like this," the mayor added, "your profile will elevate significantly. You might even give Leery's a run for its money."

Mr. Witter and Doug seemed awestruck that people were complimenting Pacey so highly. Joey had heard from Audrey that Pacey and his dad were working on their relationship in the wake of Mitch's death, but Joey had been skeptical that they'd actually made headway. When Doug said, "Good for Pace," and Mr. Witter agreed, Joey knew her mistake has been for the best. Now there was no way Mrs. Valentine could get rid of Pacey. And because Pacey would be in the kitchen, he'd be unable to avoid her. She wasn't sure, though, why that made her so happy.

 **~zzzzz~**

A few hours later, Joey was cleaning up the banquet room when Pacey came out of Mrs. Valentine's office looking bewildered. She walked over to him. "You ok?"

"She offered me a year contract, Jo. With an additional two year option to be the Club's exclusive executive chef."

Joey jumped in his arms and hugged him. "That's amazing! Congratulations."

"I can't believe it." He was completely dazed by this development.

"I can," Joey said smugly.

He narrowed his eyes at you. "What's going on Jo?"

"She kind of had no choice but to offer you the contract once she told Brecher, the mayor, Dean Kublick, and your dad and brother that she already had."

"And why would she have said that?"

"Because Danny threatened to steal you back."

"And how did they know it was me in the kitchen?"

"Well…"

"What did you do?"

"Danny commented that the salmon tasted suspiciously like his. I just confirmed that it was his. And then I complimented Mrs. Valentine's excellent decision to move you from security to the kitchen where she discovered your talents would be better utilized."

"You did this?"

Joey nodded. "Yeah, I guess so. Are you mad?"

"I'm upset you risked your job for me, but I can't be mad at you for helping me get the best job of my life making more money than I ever expected. So, thank you." His genuine smile nearly took her breath away.

"You're welcome."


	6. Chapter 6

A few days later, Pacey was in the wine cellar choosing pairings for the upcoming week's menu when Joey walked in. "Hey."

"Hey."

"What are you doing down here?"

"The bar is out of Cabernet, so I volunteered to come down and get it," she said as she walked toward the row housing the specific wine she needed.

"You may want to grab some extras. It pairs with the special tonight, so they'll go through it fast."

"Thanks for the head's up."

Pacey went back to what he was doing when he heard Joey call his name. He walked over to where she was. "Yeah?"

"Can you reach that bottle on the top shelf?"

"Sure." When Joey stepped aside, Pacey reached up and pulled the bottle down. He held it out to her. "Here you go."

When she grabbed the bottle, their hands touched. "Thanks," she whispered as she pulled the bottle away.

Pacey cursed Cupid for reigniting flames he had no business reigniting. "No problem."

Joey went to step away but paused. "Pace?"

"Yeah?"

"Is it working for you? Because it isn't for me."

"Is what working?"

"Whatever you've been doing to ignore what's going on between us since that night."

"No. It isn't. And it's worse now that I see you everyday. In this case, proximity is a very bad thing."

Joey bent down to put the bottle next to the others she'd pulled off the shelf and then stood back up. She smoothed her skirt nervously. "Maybe we should kiss."

"What?"

"Well, maybe the reason neither of us can bury this thing between us is because we never got to see if it meant anything. So, if we kiss, then we'll know."

"And if it's not some fluke, glitch, or false alarm? Then what? I'm Capeside. You're not. It doesn't change anything."

"Maybe it doesn't have to matter. Capeside and Boston are only an hour away."

Pacey stepped forward, closing the slight distance between them. "What about Dawson?"

"What about him?"

Pacey placed an index finger on her heart. "That little piece of your heart that will always belong to Dawson Leery makes it impossible for us. And you know it."

Joey grabbed his finger and pulled his hand into hers. "Only if we let it. Assuming there's anything there, that is."

"Trust me, Jo. This gravitational pull is as strong - and as dangerous - as ever. We'd only be setting ourselves up for more drama and heartache in the long run."

"So, you'd rather go on like this? Not knowing?"

"Yes." This was the torture he could take. It was like back in junior year before their kiss. The torture of knowing and not being with her, that was worse. And he wasn't prepared for that again.

"Well, I wouldn't."

And then she kissed him.

~zzzzz~

The last few weeks had been torture for Joey and Pacey's refusal to address the elephant in the room was grating on her nerves. She knew she felt something that morning and that she still felt it every time he smiled at her, talked to her, or touched her and she would have bet just about anything that he felt it between them, too. While things had begun to normalize between them since his promotion to executive chef, primarily because they were forced to work together, there was still an undercurrent passing between them and Joey was tired of trying to ignore it. Part of her wondered if she couldn't let it go because they were interrupted before they got to see what "it" was. She was convinced that if they finished what they'd started that morning, there would be a resolution one way or the other. Either they'd go back to being friends or they'd open a can of worms. But at least they'd know.

When he handed her the bottle and she nearly jumped out of her skin at the pulse of electricity she felt, she knew it was time for drastic measures. She had to know. And apparently, she had to be the one to find out because he wasn't giving her any answers. So she kissed him.

When their lips met, she could tell that she'd shocked him because he didn't move or react at all. "Pace…," she murmured, "kiss me back," against his lips. "You know you want to."

A second later his defenses fell and he kissed her back with abandon and the electricity she'd been feeling between them was magnified tenfold. It was just as she'd remembered, but somehow even better - more powerful. He'd never kissed her like this before. It was primal, animalistic and all-consuming. As they kissed, Pacey moved them back to the nearby wall and then pinned her against it with his body, making her temperature skyrocket.

"God, Joey…" he ground out as he tore his lips from hers to nibble at her earlobe, pressing his body into hers.

Meanwhile Joey's hands traveled to his waist and snuck underneath the t-shirt he wore under his chef jacket. As her hands touched his torso, Joey felt him shiver with desire. He wanted her, too, probably as much as she wanted him. "Pacey…"

Suddenly, she heard the upstairs door open. "Potter! Did you get lost down there?" Drue's voice called out, breaking their haze of lust. "Potter?"

Joey and Pacey went still. "I'll be up in a minute," she replied loudly as Pacey used the wall to push himself away from her. Breathing heavily, he panted, "Now you know."

"So what do we do?" she asked as she straightened her clothes and hair.

"Nothing."

~zzzzz~

Why the hell did Joey have to force the issue between them? Why couldn't she just have left things well enough alone? Nothing good would come of their mutual reawakened feelings except suffering. And boy was he suffering. After she went back upstairs, he took a few minutes to regain his composure and then, like a chicken, hid in the kitchen the rest of the night until he could sneak out the back door and head home to his new one bedroom apartment not far from the marina.

When he got there, however, Joey was sitting by his door. She stood when she saw him coming up the stairs. "Go home, Jo."

"No."

He stopped on the landing next to her and unlocked the door. "Nothing can happen between us. Just go home, please," he begged as he opened it and moved to step inside. As usual, however, she didn't listen to him and slipped inside in front of him.

Pacey sighed, stepped over the threshold, and closed the door behind him.

"Pacey, please be honest with me. After that kiss, I know you feel this between us as much as I do. Why are you holding back?"

Joey was like a dog with abone when she set her mind to something, so he rubbed a hand through his hair, removed his chef's jacket, and plopped on the couch. "Because we can't just have a one night stand and anything more than that will only end up hurting us both."

She sat down next to him. "You don't know that."

"Yes, I do."

"How?"

"Because I'm the person who knows you best. And I know without even asking that when you talked to Dawson on the phone that you didn't resolve anything. And until you do, this," he pointed between them, "can't happen no matter how much we want it to."

"We decided to live our own lives, so it is resolved."

Pacey laughed. "Until he comes home, you mean. All you did, Joey, is stall for time. And I can't go through this again. I can't be that guy, so please don't ask me to."

"What guy?"

"The one who is so insecure and angry that he destroys the best thing in his life because it's the only way he can survive." He put a hand on her knee. "I'm finally in a good place. Sure, I'm stuck in Capeside while you're all out there making new lives for yourselves, but I have a secure well-paying job that I love, my own place, a car, and I'm repairing things with my family. I can't go back."

"I'm not asking you to be that guy again. I would never do that."

"Then don't. Please just go home. It's late and I'm only human."

"Ok. If that's what you want," she said as she stood up and walked toward the door.

"What I want doesn't factor into the equation. It's all about what we really need."

"Bye, Pace."

"See ya, Jo."


	7. Chapter 7

It was the Fourth of July and Pacey had just finished working the Club's annual party, which consisted of a lavish buffet dinner, drinks, dancing and an elaborate fireworks display. As with the rest of the summer, only Pacey and Joey were in town. Pacey had been avoiding her as much as possible, even asking Mrs. Valentine, who was now his biggest fan, to make sure they weren't scheduled together. He still valued Joey's friendship, but he couldn't be "just friends" with her until he got his renewed attraction to her under control. So, since Pacey was scheduled to work tonight, Joey had the night off. Pacey had assumed she'd spend it with her family, but the sneaky little minx switched shifts with one of the other waitresses. As a result, he saw her off and on all night long as he monitored the buffet and she kept up with beverages and clean-up. During the fireworks when the staff followed the guests out to the deck to watch them, Joey ended up next to him and stood very close, closer than friend or ex-guidelines suggested. In just those few minutes, his nerve endings sizzled at her proximity. He wanted to be more than friends even though he logically knew it wouldn't work. He just had to make it to fall, then she would be back in Boston. The distance would make squelching his feelings easier.

Just before he was ready to leave, he stopped by the storeroom to put away the extra buffet supplies only to end up right where Joey was. "Hi," he said tentatively as he came through the doorway.

"Hey, Pace," she smiled. "Need help?"

"Naw, I've got it," he said confidently as he maneuvered all the supplies from the hallway into the room. Unfortunately, when he was moving the second batch, his hip accidentally bumped the door and it slammed shut behind him.

"No!" Joey shouted as she ran toward the door. She then worriedly looked between it and him. "Please tell me there is someone else out there."

"Only the security guard, but he's on rounds. Everything is locked up. I thought I was the last person here. Why?"

"Because the door won't open from the inside. The lock sticks."

"So, we're stuck in here?" He asked.

"Looks like it."

"That's why you propped open the door, wasn't it?"

"Yeah. I learned my lesson last time. I wasn't about to get stuck in here alone."

"Last time?"

"This was the room Drue purposely stuck us in last year when you went with Gretchen."

"Crap." Pacey walked turned back toward the door and juggled the handlebar hoping it would open, but no such luck. "Ugh!"

"Guess we're stuck until morning."

He turned back around. "You don't seem all that upset."

"I'm not. Now you can't avoid me," she said as she walked back to where she'd been when he came in and resumed putting away the supplies she'd brought inside, smiling triumphantly.


	8. Chapter 8

"It's gonna be a long night if you keep trying to avoid me, Pacey." Joey stated to her companion, who was currently camped out on the other side of the room rearranging all the kitchen-related supplies on the shelves.

"I'm not. These need to be organized."

"They're perfectly fine the way they are and you know it." Joey walked over, grabbed his hand, and pulled him to a nearby corner to sit down. "I miss my friend."

"So do I," he admitted.

"Then why can't we be that?"

Pacey took a deep breath and looked at Joey with sad eyes. "Because, like I said before, it's a bizarre form of torture to try and be friends with you when I feel this way about you." He ran a hand through his hair. "The only problem is that I can't hop a plane to Miami this time."

Joey looked down at her lap, a sad realization dawning. "You're waiting for me to be the one to go, aren't you?"

"Honestly… Yeah." He unbuttoned his chef jacket and removed it, placing it on his lap. "And I'm sorry if that hurts you, but it's easier with distance between us. Without you around everyday, I can pretend everything is normal. Then, eventually, it will be again."

Joey looked at him. Really looked at him. And she finally understood why he left last summer. "You left for both of us, didn't you? It wasn't to punish me. It was because you wanted to save our friendship."

He nodded. "Yeah. I knew if I stayed, it would only cause us pain and make everyone else uncomfortable feeling like they had to choose between us. By leaving, we both had the space we needed to move on and no one was caught in the crossfire." He absently toyed with a button on the jacket. "The job was what I wanted for myself, but also the perfect solution to preserve what we had left."

"I was so angry that you didn't call me. I hated you for it at the time. We were so close and you left without saying goodbye and then when you did call, it was to talk to Dawson of all people…"

"It had to be a clean break, Jo. You understand that right?" Pacey turned toward her as he said it.

She shifted to face him. "I didn't then. But now I do… Because this is hell. Wanting more and not being able to have it."

"I know, right? It sucked when I liked you and you didn't like me back, but that was a picnic compared to knowing what it's like between us and not being able to be together."

She grasped his hand. He resisted at first, but gave in. "It felt different this time when we kissed. You were different. When we were together before, you held back, didn't you?"

"I don't know. I guess. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop and I knew I had to tread lightly or I'd spook you - especially when it came to intimacy."

"Were you like that with others?"

Pacey shifted uncomfortably, but said, "With Andie, but for different reasons. She was my first love. And, let's face it, she was also fragile."

Joey nodded in agreement. Unable to stop herself, she asked, "What about Ms. Jacobs?"

He smiled a bit naughtily. "She encouraged me. Let's just leave it at that."

"Audrey and the others?"

"Jo..."

"No. I want to know. Not the details, obviously." Because those would kill her. "But did you hold back with them?"

He clasped his free hand over their joined ones. "No. I cared about them, but It was just sex. I wasn't afraid that one false move would wreck our entire story."

A "Huh," escaped Joey. She didn't know what else to say.

"Sex was always the elephant in the room between us, Jo. I knew it was all new to you and I didn't want to rush it and ruin what we'd built. Then, when we finally slept together, I was just happy to be able to show you how I felt. Every time we made love I couldn't believe it, you know? That we'd finally gotten to that place. So, I guess I felt like it had to be this magical experience every time so that it would live up to your fantasy of what it should be." He paused and then sighed. "Of what you dreamed it would be. With Dawson."

"I always thought my first time would be with him and it was hard to let that go. But I did. I wanted to be with you, Pacey. And it was magical because it was."

"Then why did you lie?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you let him continue to believe you were saving yourself for him?"

"Because I'd already hurt him so much and…"

"More importantly, Jo, why did you lie to me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I asked you flat out what you would say if he asked and you said you'd tell him the truth. But you didn't." He pulled his hand away from hers. "It made me wonder if you'd regretted it. Regretted us. And it just tarnished everything."

"That's why you stopped touching me, wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"God, Pacey. We made such a mess of everything, didn't we?"

He rested his head against the wall behind him. "You could say that."

"We were both guilty of so much. Me for the stuff with Dawson, but also you for closing so much of yourself off from me. How could we have lasted if you never really let me know the real you?"

"I let you in closer than I've ever let anyone in. You are the person who knows me best, Jo."

She smiled wistfully. "I know the Pacey you let me see, not the Pacey you are."

"I don't understand." He said confusedly.

Joey stood up and brushed the dirt from the floor off her pants. She walked over to the bottled water supply and pulled one off the shelf. After opening it and taking a swig, she handed it to Pacey. Then she moved his chef jacket onto the floor and sat down, this time sideways on his lap. He froze mid sip. "Jo, what are you doing?"

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Finish drinking and then put the bottle down. I don't know how else to make my point except to illustrate it."

He drank once more and then put the bottle down beside him. He tried to dislodge her, but she wouldn't budge. "Jo, come on…"

She leaned into him, pressing her breasts into his chest, and then said, "Remember that day in the cafeteria when you mentioned the boiler room?"

"Yeah…" he answered warily.

"You played it off like a joke, but you were serious, weren't you?"

"I knew you'd never go for it. I was just kidding around."

"I don't think you were. I think you wanted to pull me into that room, rip my clothes off, and fuck me senseless up against the door."

When Joey heard his breath hitch and felt his cock stir beneath her, she knew she was right. "Yet instead of doing that, you arranged for us to have a night alone so we could make love tenderly on your bed."

"So what if I did? That was a great night. I enjoyed it." He smiled. "And, if I remember correctly, so did you."

"I did. It was amazing. I felt loved, cherished, and like I was your world."

"You were."

"But you never stopped to think that maybe I wanted you to strip me naked and ravish me, did you?"

At that, he looked at her with shock. "What?!"

"I had desires, too, Pace. And I bet they matched yours. Sure, I may not have had the guts to have sex in the school boiler room, but that didn't mean I didn't want to."

"Geeze, Joey…"

"You closed off this huge part of yourself from me. And, God help me, I was so jealous of Audrey because she got to experience it. The quickie the two of you had in the woods the day of the road trip was bad enough. But then I saw you with her in the kitchen the first night of spring break."

He looked horrified. "Jo, I'm sorry you saw that. We thought everyone was sleeping."

"I couldn't sleep, so I got up to go downstairs and get some water and there you two were. It was… startling."

"I don't know what to say…" he started in defense, but she shushed him with an index finger to his lips.

"But the real kicker was right before you broke up. I'd forgotten a book I needed and came back to get it between classes. At first I thought the room was empty, but then I heard the water running. It wasn't unusual for Audrey to shower at random times of day, so I didn't think anything of it. Until she screamed your name so loud that half the dorm could have heard it."

"Joey, look…"

"I don't want an apology, Pace. That's not why I'm telling you this. I mean, we only ever did it in the bedroom or on the couch. We came close a few times in the Wagoneer, but you always stopped it. Seeing you like that with Audrey, it made me wonder why, you know? Why didn't we do more?"

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her comfortingly into his chest. "Because I loved you. And you deserved better than a quickie in the woods or a hormone-induced romp in the shower."

"I thought you didn't want me that way. That I didn't inspire that in you."

Pacey laughed. "God, Jo. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I wanted you every minute of every day. You should have seen the water bill. I took a lot of cold showers those months before we slept together."

Joey smiled at that. Then she confessed. "Bessie was so pissed at me for running up the water bill. And the electric one."

"Huh?"

"I took a lot of showers, too. And baths. But they weren't cold." Even though her face was buried in his black t-shirt, Joey felt herself blush.

Pacey was completely still a moment and then he asked, "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

She nodded into his chest. "I was feeling all these things and I had no outlet for them except, well…"

"I would have gladly taken care of that for you," he replied with a teasing lilt in his voice. "All you had to do was ask."

She pulled back and looked at him. "I didn't know how to bring it up. I was the one stalling but I also wanted you so badly. I was afraid of sending you mixed messages, I guess."

"Desire and lust are natural emotions. It probably would have helped me to know you were struggling as much as I was. I thought it was one-sided."

"It wasn't then, Pace. And it isn't now. Just for the record. In case you were wondering."

"But here's the thing, Jo. Lust is one thing. You can want someone and act on that want and walk away mostly unscathed, like me with Audrey. But when lust mixes with what we feel for each other and the history we have, it heightens the pleasure but it also makes things really complicated. Because we can't just walk away without one or both of us getting hurt."

"And you aren't willing to risk it?"

"No. I don't think I'd survive it falling apart again. Do you?"

"I don't know."

"Then the best thing for us to do is just get some sleep. Tomorrow after we're rescued we'll pretend that night never happened and go back to being friends. I promise not to avoid you the rest of the summer if you promise not to push this. Can you do that?"

Joey wasn't sure she could or even wanted to, but she agreed. "Ok." Because having Pacey as her friend was better than not having him at all.


End file.
